sunsets or sunrise?
I sit there at the corner bakery cafe at Washington DC, waiting for you, I take a sip on my coffee cup and glance at the window to watch the pouring rain, I look at my phone to see if there’s any message from you but there’s none and I notice that it’s already past 5pm. I waited and waited and waited, I count all the passing cars in the streets, the people walking at the sidewalk, and the turning off of lights in the street. The waiter ask me “Sir we are closing its 12 in the morning, we need to clean up”, I look once again at my phone to see if there’s any reply to my thousand messages and a hundred missed calls that I made but still there’s none. I wear my coat, walked out of the cafe and open my umbrella, because it’s still raining, I pause for a while and I can’t help but cry, I miss you baby, why didn’t show up? What could’ve happened to you? I’m so worried, I hope you’re okay, please be okay, please?. As I continue walking, I saw her inside a Cadillac, half naked and kissing someone passionately. You got my heart broken into a million pieces and now I don’t know where to go, I feel numb and lost, I forgot how to breathe, it feels like my heart stops beating and my brain stops working, I am paralyzed, I never thought that you will choose him over me.
— I am such a fool for loving you (Excerpts from the book i will never write, 10:55PM)